Daddy Instinct

I slipped and fell down a few stairs today, while holding Miriam, my nine month old.  We're all okay thank goodness.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to be pretty sore in the morning but Miriam didn't get anything worse than a little fright.  Upon beginning my descent my free arm, rather than going to the ground to catch myself, instinctively went around Miriam to ensure she didn't get bumped.  Of course that meant that my elbow, shoulder and butt took the brunt of the fall...thankfully I've got a little padding on the behind.

It amazes me how instinctive our protective nature is for our children.  This is of course just a small example as neither of us were in any serious danger.  But even the smallest threat to a child can elicit a rather primal instinct that very few dare stand against.   There's something fearsomely beautiful about it all.  In the spirit of that sentiment, enjoy the following video. 

Felix Baumgartner...wow!!  I salute you sir.  In case you missed it, Fearless Felix leaped from the edge of space to complete the most extreme skydive ever setting three records along the way - highest manned balloon flight, highest skydive and the first person to break the sound barrier without a vehicle.  I guess that makes him the fastest man on the planet today.

Besides its sheer awesomeness - there are apparently practical scientific reasons why this jump is significant.  But I want to focus on its awesomeness.  In a world where it easy to feel complacent and where sometimes it feels as though there is nothing new under the sun...we humans have done it all...it's exciting to think that there are some still pushing the boundaries.  Those who dream a little bigger, look a little higher and say, "yeah, that's possible...let's give it a go."

Jumping off of things is not for me.  In fact the past few years I've claimed base jumping as my biggest fear (base jumping and wild cats).  Just the thought of it turns my stomach - just too many things that could go wrong.  Maybe I'd slip right before I was to jump...or trip...a slight stumble and I wouldn't jump far enough from the ledge and WHAM!!  I end up bouncing off the face of the base.  Yeah.  Jumping is not for me.

It's easy and understandable to become so focused on the things that could go wrong that you never leave the comfort of the base.  But if we all did that, there'd be no Fearless Felix...no risk, no gain.

Surely I have my own metaphorical base that I am to leap from. A lesson from Felix for me is to assess and mitigate the risks...but don't let them stop me from taking the leap!

It's Not That Complicated

I just read another article about how Canadian household debt has hit a record high. Now, I am by no means a financial expert, but am in fairly good shape financially despite having four dependents and being a single income home. We don't have any credit card debt, school debt or weird payday loan type debt (those places give me the willies) and we are about six years away from paying off our mortgage. Financial success seems to be fairly straightforward to me, and includes very few rules to follow. Here are some of my idiot proof rules.

Rule #1 Don't buy crap.

Has that set in yet? Wait for it to sink in deep. Most things people buy other than food are just crap (with very few exceptions). You don't need a new flat screen, a cell phone, a newer car, a boat, a bigger house, or any other do-dad to be happy and fulfilled. We try to keep our needs and wants distinctive and in perspective.  It is probably sacrilegious to say in this day and age, but you really don't need a cell phone to survive. Trust me you wont die without an ipad, or  iphone.  Somehow, my family magically seems to survive with out these things quite happily. Yes we sometimes think about buying shiny new things that will momentarily bring us joy, but then we think about how much better being completely debt free will feel and walk on by the shiny new car.

Rule #2 Work Hard at Anything you Can - Then Live Within Your Means

 I didn't always have a job that paid well.  During my student days and early years of marriage I often worked double shifts between two jobs and did extra work at night cataloging information for random companies (the most mind-numbing thing on Earth to do for money). We learned to tailor our life in order to meet the salary we have, weather it's big or small.  Living frugally has now become a lifestyle and we never go without our needs being met and many of our wants too - albeit our wants are usually pretty simple.  Luckily I now have a job that does meet all of our needs and doesn't make me want to go crazy by doing hours and hours of night time cataloging.

Rule #3 Pay Off More Than you Need To Now

This just means pay more of your debt down, be it mortgage, school loans, plastic surgery, or whatever, than the minimum monthly requirement. Bank staffers usually discourage this because thats how they make their money,,or rather your money.

Rule #4 Give to God

If your not spiritual at all or maybe even if you are this rule will seem strange but I believe it helps us more than it is a sacrifice. We are amazingly blessed by God and I hope our small contributions will bless others in turn.

And thats it. That is my family's playbook on money. The first and fourth rules are the most important ones I think. Obviously these have not been invented by me. Lots of people, smarter and wiser than me write books about this sort of stuff and follow these rule better than us. But as my wife's Grandmother used to say, "what's true once can be said again and again."

Pop Culture Fathers' Hall of Fame (Shame)

The progression (or maybe that's regression) of a father's role in pop-culture is fun to look at.  So that's what I'm going to do.  From time to time I'll post a father character from pop culture fame and highlight some of his characteristics and what made him so memorable.  It's interesting because I think you can tell a lot about how fathers were viewed in society at different times from their depiction in media.  From Mr. Cleaver to Homer Simpson fathers have come a long way.

Let's get started with one of my favorite fathers from television.

Charles Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie

He gets double the points for being based on a real guy (see a photo of the real Charles below).

I always liked Charles for his ability to gauge what was needed from him in any given scenario and get the job done.  And when the job was done he'd always have a heartfelt smile awaiting.  Need to rough up some outlaws - no problem.  Harvest needs finishing up...broken ribs?  Not a problem.  Heck he could build a cottage, catch some fish, find his children in a blizzard, and save Walnut Grove from some calamity all before dinner and still have some energy left over to break out the fiddle.

He was John Wayne meets James Dean - a man not afraid to show his vulnerability but whose vulnerability never hindered him from overcoming any obstacle be it nature, man or himself.   He was the epitome of the tough guy father who was still always emotionally available to his family - not to mention always there when the needed him.  How many times did we see him cry for or about his family?  I lost count but you still never doubted that he was the man.  When he needed to, he'd wipe those tears away, pick himself up and by George get the task done.

Yes, in my opinion, pop culture and our world could use more fathers like Charles Ingalls.

Men of Faith

Two passages from the Good Book have always given me cause to pause - interesting that they both pertain to family.

The first is Genesis 22 when Abraham is told to sacrifice Isaac his son.  Abraham sets out to obey proving that he would not even with-hold his only son from God.  Isaac is of course spared.  It is nevertheless hard to fathom a father willing to follow through.

The second is from Matthew 10 particularly the following:
³⁷ “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. ³⁸ Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. ³⁹ Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."

These verses become even more difficult after becoming an husband and father.  I would jump on a bees nest to keep my girls safe.  I have to remind myself that my faith is in a God that not only loves me but loves each of my girls more completely than I ever could.  My belief that He has a plan and purpose for their life, independent of me, makes the above passages more palatable.  I rest assured in that faith.

Dick Proenneke - The Man!!

Here's another gem from good ol' Youtube. I actually saw this video in University but just rediscovered it again this week. Its about a man named Dick Proenneke who goes up to Alaska and lives alone by his own means. Normally stories that start that way end up with said person ending up frozen to death and or getting half eaten by coyotes. This story however is much happier. Dick kicks butt at pretty much every part of wilderness life and ended up staying in Alaska until the age of 85.

This guy is so inspiring to me, in a lot of unsuspecting ways. I am mostly in awe of his easy use of tools and amazing carpentry skills. He makes his own tools, house, fireplace, root cellar, snowshoes, spoons, yes even spoons!

These days its seems socially acceptable to bash Men, and almost anti PC not to. Maybe we have earned a little bashing from thousands of years of patriarchical oppression, but whenever it gets me down I remember that Men like this are examples of what we guys can do. Even if it makes no sense.
Enjoy!

Tick Tock...

The best part of going to work each day, are the hugs at the end of the day when I get home.  Evie and Noli ran outside and into my arms the moment they saw the car in the driveway.  I barely had time to get out of the car.  Even Mimi had an especially big smile on her face when she saw me.

Time with the girls is at a premium now that I'm back at work.  The focus has shifted from quantity time to quality time.  The ideal is quality time in vast quantities but that's not always feasible.  Moreover when you have oodles of time at home, taking half an hour away from the girls isn't such a big deal.

Now however I am conscious how valuable each moment can be if I choose it to be.  I'm going to try to be more deliberate with the moments I can steal away with my girls, to make them count.  For example, Evie and I will regularly have 10-15 minutes together each morning waiting for the bus.  While it would be easy to let that time slip away in silence because I'm tired or am thinking about my coming day at work, I'm going to take the time to pause and give Evie my focused attention.  I'm going to be intentional in starting conversations with her so that those few minutes each morning become something more than time we spent simply waiting for the bus.  My hope is that it becomes a time that we both remember as being special.