Another Birthday!!

Nine years ago today my wife and I welcomed our third and youngest daughter into the world and our family. A lot has changed in the past 9 years. We moved, the girls changed schools we welcomed a new puppy into the family in 2017 and a little brother in 2018...and this past year has been a wild ride for everyone.

Birthdays certainly don't look like they used to pre-pandemic. I know in the grand scheme of things altered birthday plans are not the worst. But I think for us parents it's a source of quiet lament or even sadness over the loss of something so basic as a typical birthday party. Worry over not marking the milestone quite right, of our kids not noting the significance of the day or feeling special is real. No matter how silly that might sound I think it's a reality. A birthday party is such a basic rite of passage; when not allowed to celebrate it the ways that we've grown accustomed to it just feels off.

We made the most of the day and were intentional about just being present in the day and having fun together. I took the afternoon off and when the girls were done their schooling we went sledding (still permitted) where our new nine year old saw her best friend. Then we went home and our wonderful friends drove by for a pandemic birthday parade where they transferred cards and gifts from their car windows to us. Then we had take-out, homemade ice cream sundaes with ultimate toppings, followed by gifts and a movie.

Despite not looking the same as birthday parties as we've come to known them. Seeing the joy on my little girl's face when she got to see her friend or as she watched the cars of friends driving by was precious. It was a pretty sweet day that reminded me that the best part of any celebration is just being together with the people you care about. 

It's a joy watching my (I guess) not-so-little girl grow-up. Through all the changes in life, both personal and otherwise, she has maintained such a sweet disposition. She's kind, generous, hard-working and always so easy going. She's one cool kid and I'm proud to be her Dad. 

Happy Birthday!!

The Proving Ground

 

     It's an exciting time in my family. My cousin and his wife just had their first baby! I remember the moment when I became a Daddy - not when I became a father, for that happened some two years earlier.   It was the middle of the night and I was awoken by my first born's little voice coming from down the hall. She was calling to me, “Daddy!”               

     Calling for me was significant because it was the first time ever that she called for me before calling for my wife.  “Daddy” was in fact a newer word in her vocabulary, I'm convinced that she knew how to say it, but she preferred to call both my wife and I Mommy.  So there I was, three o’clock in the morning or thereabouts, hearing my little girl calling for me for the first time, needing ME!  What a moment.  I snapped into action.  With a glance at my wife I told her, “I’ve got this one,” and with a goofy smile plastered on my face and pride swelling up within me, I made my way down the hall to her room.  She had only recently moved into her own room so I figured she had woken-up, realized she was alone and simply needed a little back rub to fall back to sleep – and on this night she wanted me, Daddy! 

     I turned the corner into her room and stopped in my tracks.  There she was, my precious little angel, kneeling on her bed, tears in her eyes, arms uplifted, needing her Daddy, wanting a hug… with puke blanketing the front of her jammies.  Instantly taking in the scene and processing the ramifications of hugging my puke-covered angel, I made my decision. Without hesitation (okay, maybe a little hesitation) I bent down, scooped her up into my arms and held her tightly to myself.  Then and there, with puke sandwiched between us, our bond as Daddy and his little girl was cemented.  I fought back a tear brought on by the knowledge that my little girl needed me…wanted me…and maybe the pungent smell of that night’s dinner…but mostly the former. 

     Perhaps that was a way of testing my devotion to her as a father -her way of seeing if she could count on me through the harshest of conditions.  I like to think that I passed.  After a very brief moment cherishing our embrace, I called to my wife, “Honey!  I’m going to need some back-up…”

Silver Linings

"There's no great loss without some small gain."

 Laura Ingalls Wilder, Little House on the Prairie

 

Two months out from a year of living with lock-downs, shut downs, masks and social distancing and it seems as novel as the night I got a call from my boss telling me not to come into work the next day. It was supposed to be for two weeks...It's easy to dwell on everything that we cannot do and everything that we've lost in the past year. If we allow ourselves that indulgence then we miss out on appreciating some small gains altogether. Don't get me wrong. There's a time to grieve and mourn, but when that time has past, then it's time to take stock (and maybe stock up) and move on.

It's tempting to remain in a constant state of waiting for things to return to the way they were. I've always been, however, more process oriented than product oriented. That is, the journey to wherever it is that I'm going is as intriguing as the destination. The dash between point A and B needs to be embraced to get the most out of this thing called life. Destination "normalcy" (as in life before COVID) may be a mirage. I'm inclined to believe that we know not what kind of world awaits us on the other end of this journey.

Therefore I choose to focus, or at the very least constantly remind myself, of all the little things that I count as benefits of the past year. In fact the best thing of the past year is no small thing at all. Unprecedented time with my family. With my ability to work from home, the girls primarily doing their schooling online from home and my wife and son already at home...we've spent nearly every day together for the past 10 months. It's a good thing we love each other otherwise this would be a lot harder. There's no one else I'd want to be in lock down with. There has been lots of family games, walks, stories, movies and generally just hanging-out time...time well spent. 

My mom used to have a quote up on a white board at the ol' homestead, "Time wasted is not spent but lost..." Or something like that. The reverse is even more poignant. Time well spent is an investment and never lost. This time that I've been able to invest in my family is precious and I'm sure we will reap the dividends of tighter bonds. 

Who knows how long this journey to the end of the pandemic will take or what it will look like when we get there. Even as I look forward to that day when we regain some sense of normalcy, I will not lose today with all of its blessings while I wait for tomorrow.