Time Traveling Daddy

Well, this is it.  The end of another chapter in my life.  Yesterday was my last day of parental leave and now I am off to work again.

I can't emphasize enough just how ideal and perfect my time off has been.  I have an awesome job and work with some seriously cool people - some of the best at what they do.  But if I had a DeLorean I'd seriously consider jumpin' in and gunnin' it to 88mph to do it all again.  Hanging out with my family, recalibrating our family after our latest addition, watching said addition grow and develop, strengthening my relationship with my ladies...invaluable and totally enjoyable.

The theory of time travel intrigues me.  I have to admit I've probably given more thought and reading into time travel than the average dude.  As fun as it would be to relive events from my life again and again or experience a completely different time, I have to admit I wouldn't do it. The reason is I'd be shortchanging my own storyline which is now hopelessly and happily entwined with my wife and my girls' story.  To quote Aerosmith, "I don't wanna miss a thing."

You see there are so many diversions available to us without time travel.  However I think time travel would be the ultimate experience in escapism.  But while you hide from the worries and struggles of life you run the risk of missing some of life's greatest, spontaneous joys.  The inexplicable moments that come out of nowhere and just overwhelm you.

I had one today when hearing my daughter reply to me asking if she wanted her jacket (we were going outside).  She nodded her head and with a nonchalance and coolness beyond her mere three years of age replied, "Sure."  There was something about her tone...something that gave me a glimpse of the future.  Maybe it was a hint of the her emerging personality shining through that I projected to give me an image of the type of woman she will become.  Whatever it was, I was filled with joy and hope for her future.  I couldn't help but beam and think about how exciting it will be to watch my girls grow.  What will they do?  What will they become?  Will they still like making picks together (we sit down each week, go through the NFL football schedule and pick who we think will win each game)?  I don't know, but I'll be there each step of the way.

On second thought I would definitely be a chrononaut...if I could bring my wife and daughters with me.  There's nowhere in space-time I'd rather be than with them.

On this Thanksgiving day I can't help but be thankful for my wonderful wife - today is our 7th Anniversary!!  My wife is a tower of strength who continues to amaze me.  I am more in love with her now than ever.

As it is my last day of parental leave (back to the office tomorrow), I cannot help but reflect on and be grateful for our family.  What an absolute blessing they are and I cannot tell you how thankful I am for every moment I have to spend with them.  The greatest joy in my life is to be with them.  To think...it all started with a look and a "hello" near the bar of the Capital 7 movie theatre in Kingston.  I'm not sure I could have comprehended how much that "hello" was to change my life.  But am I ever glad she did.  Happy Anniversary My Love!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!  Remember to spend time (and cherish it) with the ones you love today!!

Ode To My Father

Today is my Dad's birthday and so I think it only appropriate to pay tribute to the man who taught me about being a father and a man.  He is a great example and growing-up I often thought that if I turned out to be like my Dad, I'd have done well for myself.

Growing up he was kind, patient, supportive and encouraging.  I never doubted his love for us, never feared that he wouldn't be around or have time to talk.  He led by example, was slow to anger (at least he was slow to show any anger) and always ready for a laugh.  We kids had tremendous freedom to become our own people and regardless of our choices I knew he'd have our collective back.  He's one of the friendliest people I know and I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone who didn't think so - everyone likes him.  And now, as he has aged, he's even more so.

I always knew he was a good man but I don't know if I truly appreciated everything he did for us until I became a father myself.  I remember often talking about my Mom as one of my heroes for the gumption she showed in returning to school with three kids to fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse.  She worked hard to finish school and maintain the home life we had grown accustomed to.   She succeeded - definitely hero material.

I realized a few years ago that without the support from my Dad, and his willingness to stick to a job that I know wasn't his favorite thing to do in the world, it would have been a lot harder for my Mom to achieve her dream.  In fact the more I reflect about my family's story the clearer it becomes that one of the reasons the rest of us have been able to talk boldly of our dreams, take chances and pursue them is because Dad was a rock providing stability and security.   If one of us showed an interest in something, he'd get behind it and cheer us on.  He'd do what he could to enable us to pursue our interest to the extent that we desired regardless of the sacrifices he had to make...and he's still doing it.  That's not just a great Dad...that's a great man.

Like the bass player in a band (Dads plays a mean bass) who holds down the bottom end of things so the guitarist can go on wild adventures and get the glory, he is the unsung hero - until now.

Here's to you Dad!!  Happy Birthday - I love you!!

Ready Or Not

Something a little different happened yesterday when I dropped my daughter off at school.  For the first couple of weeks of the school year I waited with her until the bell rang and her class was headed inside before leaving.  Despite my reassurances that I wouldn't leave until she had gone in and unmoved by my encouragement to go play with her friends, she opted to wait by my side until the bell rang.  This went on for days, each day I urged her to go and play, and each day she decided to stay with me.  I asked her if everything was alright on the playground, concerned that something might have happened to make her not want to be there.  She said no, she just liked being with me.  How sweet!  Eventually she started taking the bus and so it ceased to be an issue.

We had a late night on Tuesday and so we let her sleep in a little bit yesterday at the price of missing the bus.  Therefore it was off to school I went.  So we arrive at the school and before we get out of the car she says to me, "Daddy...I don't want you to stay today."

"You mean you just want me to walk you to the playground, give you a kiss and leave?"  I wanted to clarify what she wanted.  "Yes," she replied.  I said, "okay" and asked if she still wanted me to give her a kiss before I left, to which she responded favorably.  Whew!!

It's not the first time one of our children have exercised their independence, but it never fails to create a strange concoction of emotions.  A swell of pride mixed with a healthy dose of a crumbling heart.  Time marches forward, ready or not.

Love Is A Verb

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
- Rev. Theodore Hesburgh

It's easy to get caught up in the business of living and forget to take time to appreciate your wife, with all that she does for you and the family, and love her properly.  Now I know most of us would say that of course we love and appreciate our wives...but I'm talking about being demonstrative love.  As dc Talk once sang (rapped), love is a verb.

Being deliberate in loving your wife may not sound very spontaneous or romantic, but I believe it goes a long way in keeping the relationship strong and healthy.  It's easy to take the relationship for granted or neglect it, especially when you are completely wiped out on a regular basis from the daily grind of life...especially life with children.  They have a way of seeing how close they can push you to the brink of exhaustion before they give you the briefest of respites before doing it all again.  But  being intentional in doing the right things to strengthen the marriage will benefit not just the two love birds but their whole nest as well.

The marriage will have a better shot at surviving the bumps and transport tires that inevitably turn up on the road of life - which I tend to believe is beneficial to the fam jam.  

Also, by loving your wife outwardly  - respecting her, treating her well, speaking highly of her - clear messages are sent to the children.  They will likely follow your lead in regards to the way they should treat their mother.  Moreover they are learning how to be men and what to expect as women from the example you set.  I want my girls to expect to be treated with the utmost respect - I don't want them settling for less.  I want your sons to know how to treat a woman like a lady because my daughters are going to have to share a world with them.

So take time today to love your wife.  Try to do something everyday that shows that you are thinking about her, appreciate her and still love her dearly.  In the early days it may have been bringing flowers home (flowers still work, at least in my house)...but now it might also include making sure the flour container in the kitchen is filled and the compost is taken out regularly (which I almost always do...right sweetie?).  

I need to be reminded of this often myself...I'm betting we all do.  No?

Live well and love well today.

Vintage Homesteading Video

I found this video yesterday while wasting time on Youtube. Its about a family who starts a homestead way out on the Prairies. The acting is very typical of a 1940's public service announcement,,,bad. But I still enjoy watching stuff like this from time to time.

I started wondering about how many families might have picked up and moved because of propaganda videos like this. Were they annoyed when the discovered the reality of moving to such a harsh environment? Obviously some families did very well as there decendants still inhabit the now successful farms today. 

Do you have a crazy choice awaiting you? Are you pining for a new beginning.  Odds are its probably going to be easier than what these guys had to go through so take heart and go for it. 

Being a Daddy is in the Details

Ahh...the weekend.  Time to take a breather, relax,,, and drive around like a mad man looking for one of the two hockey sticks that our family left here, there and everywhere except where they're supposed to be because my Evie has hockey in a couple of hours.

Oh yes, talk about the ideal Saturday morning.  I was gathering Evie's hockey equipment when I realized we were stickless.  The extra hockey stick that I just picked up the week before because I thought it might be a good idea to have an extra one kicking around?  I forgot it at church after some Sunday night ball hockey.  Evie's regular stick?  Well, who knows where that is.  My guess was last week's arena, so I drove out there to check the lost and found.  Nope.  Well, now I was only a few blocks from our church, so I went there. Nope, no stick.  So I boot it to Canadian Tire, buy two new sticks, get home, measure the stick against Evie, cut it, tape it and then rush off to hockey.  Whew!!  Made it.

To say the least, I was a little annoyed.  It's easy to feel fatherly when doing fatherly things like teaching your kid how to swim or ride a bike or even standing in the arena proudly watching her race across the ice while sipping on a nice hot coffee (that'd be me sipping the coffee, not her).  That's fatherhood, right?  What about the time fixing that blasted tire on her bike or getting all the swim gear ready every week?  Or getting them in and out of their swimsuits and in and out of the car again and again?

These are essential to being a Daddy...doing what needs to be done, when it needs doing whether it be the key milestone moments in a Daddy-Child relationship or the most mundane and routine activities (like searching for a hockey stick).  All the behind the scenes work, running around, preparation and grunt work are as important as the main events;  they lay the foundation for whatever will be.  It's my job to do what needs to be done to ensure that my girls have a shot to do and achieve their goals.  Today it might simply be getting to hockey practice with all the right gear...tomorrow, who knows?

Moreover, the routine things in life add up...how you approach the daily tasks (the teeth brushing, nose wiping, pony tailing) can go a long way in shaping your relationship with your children.  It's easy to be annoyed and grumpy.  But if you're always annoyed and grumpy when going through the daily grind of parenthood, what message are the kids picking up?  I don't want to indulge or spoil my girls (some may say, "too late!") but neither do I want them feeling like they're a constant nuisance.  

Embrace all the moments you have to be a Daddy...do what you need to do and do it well.   Good luck out there today!!