We do Judo!

We have finally finished up the hockey season and the girls have just started taking Judo lessons at the dojo down the street. I must confess that judo is a much more pleasant sport to have children in than hockey. I love hockey and I'm a proud Canadian but holy smokes its a commitment. The weird part about hockey in Ottawa is that there is really no non competitive leagues around. All leagues are set up with a rep like system with tournaments, travelling, and multiple games a week etc. I have no illusions about my kids sports carers they will likely, like 99% of players, end up just playing the sport for, well, sport. So when we signed the girls up for hockey a year or so ago I was hoping for a easygoing once a week shinny style type of hockey, after all they are only 5 and 8 years old.  Unfortunately here in Ottawa, where most hockey parents have good government jobs and plenty of disposable income, hockey is pretty full on regardless of the level of the players. Two overnight tournaments in two different cities, and several week day (during the day, like when people are you know, working) games later we are happy to be done.

So far Judo has been a happy alternative. The girls are often more engaged in the exercises during their lesson than they were in hockey as it is not so easy to hang back and watch at the dojo. Their teacher is a very soft spoken and calm Japanese lady who is the smallest thing I have ever seen. She also happens to be one of the best female martial arts experts in Canada and was a coach for the Olympic judo team for several years. Her family is also pretty impressive, with her two brothers competing at the Olympics and her sons winning dozens and dozens of martial arts competitions. The awards are so numerous that they have started to nail them to the ceiling at the dojo. So at least I know the girls are in good hands.

We are not sure what we will choose to do come winter. Hockey is a big part of Canadian culture and the girls for the most part enjoy playing. However our family really has a hard time managing the commitment of such an intense sport. If this is what house league hockey is like at 8 I shudder to think of what it will be at 12, 13, and so one. Plus we don't even have all our kids in yet. Mimi will one day join her sisters in what they are playing, as we tend to keep them doing the same thing  (mostly to cut costs).

If the girls continue to enjoy Judo through the summer we may sadly say goodbye to hockey, and just do pleasure skating at the outdoor arena near our house. At least if they continue with Judo in ten or so years I will have a gaggle of girls who can protect me in dark alley ways or at Ikea on Saturday mornings (it's just like Lord of the Flies at that time, I blame the Swedish meatballs there must be something addictive in them).

Judo Hug 

Judo Chop! 

Signs of Spring

We finally survived another Ottawa winter and spring has finally started indoors at least. Here are some of the plants we have on the go. Lex is are main horticulturalist around here and I do the flower bed construction outdoors.

beans starting

Tomatoes 

Bigger beans and broccoli

Herbs

Sorry Ryan it's a mamma post...I'm still a feminist!

I seem to have come across a lot of media lately (talk shows, articles, blogs) bashing stay-at-home mothers. Most of these pieces make the homemaker out to be some sort of slave who sacrifices every inch of her self-worth and potential in order to be a stay at home parent. The worst part is when they say Mothering all day is anti-feminist. Now, I grew up on the ultra-liberal side of the feminist debate. I didn't (don't) wear makeup, I went tree planting, I  listened to a lot of Indigo girls, I read Naomi Wolf books, so yeah, really really feminist. As I grew older I drew strength knowing that generations of women had worked and fought for women's equality and the freedom for me to choose what I wanted to do in life.  

After I had my first child I knew that the right thing to do in my life was love and care for her at home full time. Because I felt like it was right for our family, for my daughter, and overall the healthy thing for us. Eight years on and three kids and one dog later I am still happy that I do not have a career that takes me out of my home everyday. I feel like I am doing the right thing, just as working moms are doing what they believe is best for their families and themselves. We're all just doing what we think is right. 

Some of the things people say about stay-at-home moms are indeed true. We don't have financial independence (although even career focused mamas have a mortgage and a visa bill, how independent does that make them?). We don't get breaks, we don't use our brains to our utmost academic level (mostly because we are exhausted), and we are dependent on our partners. Oh and we dress badly... that's totally true but if your going to be covered in puke what's the point in dressing up? 

But hang on a second! My husband depends on me too. We are in a fundamental way interdependent on each other. If I decided to go marry the hunky single guy down the road and move to Cuba, Ryan would be totally screwed. As wonderful as my husband is he could not look after our girls even close to the same way as he can now. And if Ryan decided to marry the hot single chick down the road and move to Cuba I would also be totally screwed. This is part of the reason that neither one of us views divorce as an option; apart from all the emotional trauma, it would totally wreck our lives...and the lives of our girls. In our society no one is supposed to need anyone else. Well thats just bananas! People need other people, to love, to do things for, for help, for support, for making mochas in the morning while you wipe sleep from your eyes (thanks Ry).

I am a stay-at-home mom but I am not a moron. I know that children are not young forever and that one day I will be alone with my husband. I will have no career to keep me busy in my fifties, sixties and so on. But guess what...I don't care! Na na na na pooh pooh! I am digging my life now! I feel important to many people and I feel valued and stimulated every day. I have learnt so much about the power and strength of women and how important we are to a successful society. I have also noticed how undervalued women's work is in our culture by men and women alike. I will continue to be a homemaker despite the confused looks I get when I am asked "so what do you do all day"? Or my personal favourite "aren't you bored?" No, somehow I have not found the time to be bored.

I feel like I am what feminism was manifestoed to do. We are feminists because we want a choice. 

Reason to Celebrate

Tomorrow is a big day.  April the 12th is the day my Mom was born and also the day my parents and late paternal grandparents were married.  As much as it is more blessed to give than to receive, I cannot help but think about how much I have received because of the historic family events that have taken place on April the 12th.  I am thankful for the blessing that my Mom and Dad are and for the example they have set for our family.

Growing up my Mom was one of my heroes and still is.  Not only is she an awesome Mom and Mummu to my girls who does all the things that you envision an awesome mom doing, but she also had enough gumption not to give up on her dream.  So many years ago now, with three children, she went back to school to complete high school and nursing college.  I remember her studying her anatomy books well into the evening and on weekends finding time where she could while still taking care of us all.  She accomplished that which she set out to do and continues to succeed in her career as a nurse.  She now works in palliative care helping comfort those who have no hope for recovery and easing them into the sweet hereafter.  She handles her sacred duty with quiet strength (although she is not always quiet), resolve and compassion indicative of her character.  I am proud of my Mom and glad that my girls have such a great example that they can learn from and hope to be like one day (my girls are very fortunate with the number of quality women they are surrounded with).

My Mom and Dad have done it together for I am sure that my mom would agree that without my Dad supporting her decision to go back to school and encouragement, it would have been a heck of a lot harder to accomplish what she has.  They have stuck together through thick and thin, for better or worse, in sickness and in health and continue to demonstrate love, commitment and teamwork.  When I consider what my parents have given me I think about the faith they fostered in me, the values they instilled, the belief they had in me and the encouragement and support they continue to give to me and my family.  These are priceless... a rich heritage that I strive to guard as fervently as I would a precious family heirloom so that I may pass them on to my girls and them to their children.

So to my Mom and Dad I say Happy Birthday and Anniversary, may God richly bless you today and in the coming year and we thank you for all that you have given to us!

Fatherhood is Like Gravity

Well another Oscar night has come and gone. I used to love Oscar night because I used to love films.  There were a few years there that I'm pretty sure I saw every movie nominated for a major award (working at a movie theatre and going to film school were certainly enabling factors).   I think this is the first time in eighteen years that I didn't catch any of the broadcast.  I didn't even know all the films that were nominated for Best Picture until after the telecast when I was reviewing the winners.  It was then that it hit me just how out of touch I am with pulp culture.  While fatherhood and family life tend to do that (at least to me) do not think that I am lamenting this fact.  I'd much rather be grounded in what matters (family) than caught up with my head in the clouds floating to and fro whichever way the wind may blow (divergent entertainment).

It all reminds me of that movie Gravity...at least what I imagine Gravity to be about since I've only ever seen the teaser.  If I'm correct the movie is about a couple of astronauts sent adrift in space after a spacewalk goes wrong.  That's it pretty much in a nutshell, isn't it?

I think parents need to be especially vigilant with the time they carve out for each other lest they end up like the two astronauts in the movie (although if I could end up looking like George Clooney when I'm 50, I'd be okay with that...and I think my wife would concur).  There are so many things willing to be your distraction du jour that it is tempting to lose sight of what's important and float away.  If one is not careful, it is easy to get caught up in the doing of the things of everyday life and be sent adrift in the inertia of it all only to look up and find yourself miles from where you intended to be, far from your partner and no notion of how to get back.  

So in the spacewalk that is life (how's that for some fromage?) even when what you're doing is filled with purpose, don't lose focus of the big picture and for goodness sake hang on tight to each other.

Sea of Pink

Having three girls I should have expected a certain amount of pinkness in my life but sometimes for no reason it seems to really explode. In a good way. Although my girls are sporty and love things like star wars, lego, and Jack London stories, every once and a while they really have to get their pink on. Like on Saturday after hockey with their little cousin joining in. Enjoy! 

No Play Allowed

I was at a school park with my kids the other day after school hours. My children were happily playing on the play structure which was fairly snowy, but since it was constructed mostly of wood and not very dangerous looking I didn't really see it as a problem. Now there is a sign on said play structure that says Ottawa District School has closed this structure until spring. "Ok that sounds clear enough Ryan", you say? Wait! The park near the school is actually owned by the city so while the school has rights to the structure during school hours they do not after school is over. So I took it upon myself to ignore the stupid rule sign and let my children play on the "dangerous play structure"; can dangerous play structure even go in the same sentence? I digress,,.

From the school came abounding two very well meaning ECE workers who help run the day-care within the school. " Sorry but the play structures closed for the season you can you it in the spring", they said in their patronising veiled with concern tone. "But, but, it's only a bit snowy, and it's after 4 pm, and, and, its a dumb rule" I said, somewhat reverting into a fourth grade version of myself. "Sorry it's just way too dangerous in the winter to use it" said the ECE teacher. "OK, fine, we will go play on the two story high snow hill beside the parking lot" I say. Which is actually dangerous but with no other options what can you do?

Now it's not that I think this is the teachers or maybe even the schools fault. This is an insurance problem. The schools insurance will not cover student injuries in the winter, so they have to lie to students, parents and even themselves and say that it is because the play structure is dangerous in the winter. The problem with this is that everyone starts believing this lie. Students really think it's very dangerous to play on a meter high playground in the winter in Canada. Where it is winter like 9ish months of the year.

Meanwhile we have a huge push in Ottawa schools to curb obesity. Fresh fruit Fridays, no candy, one candy a day after Halloween, and exercise themed days every so often. How bout we can all that crap, start teaching them to read more often, and open that dammed play structure. Free the children I say!

I know this will not be happening anytime soon. Not while there is a huge insurance company holding the play structures at ransom. I hope that Canadian children are able to shake off their imposed fear when they are older and learn the difference between real danger and a crazy town idea of danger. And I hope that the school boards ubber health strategy doesn't do more harm than good in their students lives. Personally I would much rather have a bunch of kids falling off play structures in the winter if it meant we could give them a more carefree existence during school recess. But maybe thats just me.